Move Through Then On to NOW

Carol started cross stitching in the late 80s as a means to pass the time in the evening as she and her husband watched TV. He liked the TV, and because she is not a sitter, she took up cross-stitching to keep her hands and mind busy while hanging out. What started as something to occupy her hands slowly became something more. She honed this craft and created stunning pieces of art that brought deep meaning and a lot of pleasure to her friends and family.

(As a side note, she also built 2 miniature dollhouses, so she is a very creative, talented lady.)

From the 1980s until 2021 when she had to stop her craft due to macular degeneration, she created over 150 individual pieces. The bulk of her creations were for her family, especially the grandchildren. Each grandchild got a custom Christmas stocking, and each one also received a special piece for their room when they were young. As they grew up, those gifts were followed by special occasion gifts for graduations, first apartments, and wedding days.

In between all of that, she made a Santa piece for her daughter who collected Santas, a St Francis Prayer for her bestie’s 50th birthday, and countless other beautiful pieces that adorned her walls and the walls of friends and loved one.  As you will see in the pictures below, these pieces of art are stunning, elaborate, labor intensive, and beautiful. 

To understand why these pieces are so meaningful to her, it’s important to understand where Carol started. She grew up in the 1940s in a home that wasn't exactly filled with love. She wasn't celebrated, honored, told or shown that she was loved, and often felt inadequate, alone, and unworthy. Through the stitches of her craft and the building of her miniature houses, she blossomed into her creative, accomplished, giving self, and was not only able to share love through her work, but she was able to grow in her gifts and talents. For her, it was never about the finished piece. It was about embracing her loving, gifted self and letting go of the pain from childhood.

When the vision loss was just beginning and “not that bad”, she tried to use less complicated patterns, more light and magnification, different tools, but ultimately she had to put her craft away. It was over. This loss was way beyond just something to keep her hands busy while hanging out. It was loss of her expression of self on a heart and soul level. 

When she decided to age in place, we came along to help her de clutter and set up her home in ways that made it more accessible for her. We came across her treasure chest of cross-stitch supplies. So many skeins in so many colors, different sized frames for holding the fabric, a small collection of tiny scissors and needles, and two thimbles. As she shared her stories and her art with us, it was clear that this craft is tied deeply to her heart, her connection to others, her love language, and a part of her identity. Without a real home, she wasn’t able to part with it, and it was not going to just go to the Donation Center.  

So, we got busy networking as we do, and we found a women, Cindy, whose own treasured cross-stitch supplies had been lost in a fire, a loss made heavier by the fact that she’d also lost her job just months before that so she couldn’t afford to replace them. Cross-stitching had been her quiet place: her time to slow down, think, and pray. Like Carol, she gave her finished pieces away as gifts to the people she loved. Without her supplies, she’d lost more than a hobby. It was also her heart, her love language, and a significant part of her connection. 

Carol handed over her treasure box, and in that moment, something that had been a quiet ache for her became a gift. While there was real sadness in letting it go, giving it as a gift to Cindy was a joy. The box and its contents had become a burden in a sense because it was a reminder of the woman she used to be and the eyes that no longer worked the way they once did. Holding onto it meant holding onto that heavy loss. Giving it to Cindy was liberating.

More than supplies, this gift was permission for Carol to keep living, find new ways to express and share her love to the people in her life, and to play the blessing forward.  Both Carol and Cindy claimed their NOW life in that moment.   StillBridges encourages you to lean into your NOW life, too.

Pictures of some of Carol's work.

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